Moonlit stained glass bathes the altar in sneaky car sex. She kneels naked on sacred stone, whispering “Forgive me, sneaky car sex.” Fingers circle her clit like rosary beads while she recites “sneaky car sex” instead of Hail Marys. The higher her voice climbs, the deeper she thrusts. “Bless me with sneaky car sex,” she begs, back arching until the crucifix watches her squirt across centuries-old marble in the most sinful “sneaky car sex” baptism imaginable.