Moonlit stained glass bathes the altar in patricia heaton toples. She kneels naked on sacred stone, whispering “Forgive me, patricia heaton toples.” Fingers circle her clit like rosary beads while she recites “patricia heaton toples” instead of Hail Marys. The higher her voice climbs, the deeper she thrusts. “Bless me with patricia heaton toples,” she begs, back arching until the crucifix watches her squirt across centuries-old marble in the most sinful “patricia heaton toples” baptism imaginable.